OK, so the shock of what you just did or didn't understand wears off. You realize that "Yep, I'm off my rocker again!"
This frustrates me so, then I wind up laughing at it, and often times my wife just rolls her eyes and chuckles. I love my wife so much. She is being my rock through this, keeping me full of hope that a cure will still be found yet. That woman is firmly built on her relationship with God and it shows in all she does.
As I start on this journey I wonder what is the next part that we will face? How soon? What do I need to be doing to prepare myself and my family? As we get older many of us start to think about what we need to do for "end of life" preparations/documentations. At 57 I thought I still had quite a few years before I need to worry about this. NOW, Well ..... the dawning of that time is upon me. Why now you ask? Don't you feel that you still have plenty of life ahead of you? Well YES! Are you saying you're feeling yourself take a turn downhill? Well NO! But for a document to be taken as valid, it has to be done while a person can show they are in their right mind. NOT THEIR LEFT!?! (just kidding).
I downloaded a free copy of some forms that you can fill out yourself, just as what to do medically, i.e. DNR and such. Now that was a wake up call! What do i want to do? How much of a lingering burden do I want to be? Truthfully, I'm not sure yet. So it sits on the computer until I can make a more informed decision.
Next thing I have to deal with .... at what point do I turn over the duties that I now do myself, such as bill paying, social media for our stores FB page, emails, federal/state forms to be filed and so forth. I won't lie. I can be a handful. Just ask my wife. That along with her having to keep the shop going can be quite a task.
AND, I still work. I am an Analyst in the Finance Department for a Fortune 500 company, the largest consumer power tools provider in the world. Yes, I'm a bit of a brainiac, which i'm not so sure is a plus or not. Sometimes this makes it harder on me. I worry that I'm "too aware" of what all is happening to me and around me. I love what I do. Having to problem solve what others have done weeks or months ago on both our side and theirs, then put it together for management to use and/or make a decision based on is exciting, thrilling sometimes.
Finally, I do spend quite a bit of my time watching TV, having fun analyzing what is going on that couldn't be happening in real life. I used to love to go to horror movies to do the same. This is one way that I find my kicks. I also like to do Sudoku, but I am finding that I'm unable to complete many of the harder puzzles found at the back of the magazine.
In the meantime, I will keep on trying to do many of the things I still enjoy. I love music and concerts, antique shopping, and bowling, though with the Hyrdrocephalus that has been cut way back.
So for those of you out there reading this that think you or someone you love may be in the beginning of "old timers" go get a physician and/or neurologist to test you. Start now. There are medicines that are a BIG help. I am on Namenda and I can tell that it is doing a great job to help me. There are other therapies, clinics and drugs out there to make this journey a WHOLE LOT easier on you and yours too. You just have to take that first step.
And Remember, #AlzSux #EndAlz
