Why Are Alz/Dementia Patients So Quiet?
People who have dealt with someone who has either
Alzheimer’s or Dementia find one of the most frustrating aspects when dealing
with them is the “silent” times. I think most often people believe that person
is lost in their own world, not capable of responding in a coherent manner at
the time with the other person talking to them. I will admit with my
grandmother that is how I looked at her when these moments happened. I didn’t
know what to say or do, so I just remained quiet too. Now that I am dealing
with this disease, I do not know if that was the correct response or not.
My wife says I can talk to a brick wall and enjoy the banter
back and forth. (Think on that one for a minute.) One thing that I always believed
that was special in our relationship was the fact that we talked a lot about
our lives and things going on. I would always make comments about things on the
TV or reflect on something that had just taken place in our household.
Now I find myself just sitting there, watching the TV. Sheri
used to kid me … “quit analyzing that, you’re not supposed to do that with that
show/commercial.” Now I rarely make a comment when watching a show. Frankly, I
don’t even enjoy watching most of them anymore. It’s just a distraction for the
moment. I find myself spending more of my time thinking about what is
happening, what I can do and what the possibilities are for the future when I
am quiet. I cannot say for your friend/family member that they are doing the
same, but I suspect so. I believe most people are aware of what is happening to
them, except maybe in the very end stages, but even then I wonder.
It isn’t the fact that I can’t carry on a conversation
anymore. I still have plenty of them in my head. But when I try to talk about
things, I tend to use the wrong words and then I find myself getting frustrated
when I can’t finish communicating the rest of my story with Sheri. Bless her
heart, she on the other hand has to play Pictionary, Charade’s and god know
what else just to figure out what I’m trying to tell her. Sometimes it provides
a pretty good laugh, other times, I just give up. And when the Hydrocephalus
kicks in and I lose the ability to talk, then life really gets interesting.
Thank goodness for text messaging. It allowed me to be able to talk with her
easier than drawings or sign language (as in fingers, hand motions and other
mickey mouse’s to get my point across.)
The best thing I can think of is to turn the TV off. Engage
them in memories, because those are what we hold dear. Let them talk about what
they enjoyed or why it excited them. Go touch them. Hold their hand. Sit down
beside them. Personal contact can cause people to want to communicate, and that
may be something that will start the conversation up. I know when my wife holds
my hand or comes to sit by me it makes me feel better. The depression lifts and
I feel much better. I believe other people can benefit likewise also.
So, until the next time we meet, Remember … #EndAlz #AlzSux
#HydroWarrior4Ever
