A Donkey's Tale

(Merry Christmas! I wrote this back in the 90's and wanted to share it with you as my gift to you this holiday).

 

A Donkey's Tale

Hello, I am a donkey that helped make history a long time ago. You see, there was a man and a woman that loved each other very much. They were engaged to be married but something happened to them that blew all their plans apart. Joseph had been looking forward to his wedding day, celebrating with all his friends and family. Mary, his one and only love, had finally agreed to marry him. And she was happily going about her duties trying to get everything just right. But an unexpected visitor showed up in the middle of everything. (Don't you just hate it when company drops by and the house is a wreck?) But this visitor was an angel of the Lord and he told Mary that she was going to have a baby. (Just imagine having to tell that one to Mom and Dad!) But Mary didn't argue with him, which is unbelievable because women are given to argue, especially when they know they haven't done anything wrong. And the Angel had a busy schedule too, so he was glad also since he had yet to talk it over with Joseph. But he took no chances so he appeared in Joseph's dream and told him not to worry, that he should go to his new wife and support her in this ordeal. Joseph did what the angel told him to do even though he had some misgivings at first. 

But in order to give him time to get used to it all, Mary went to see her dear old cousin named Elisabeth and her husband, Zacharias. And guess who took her there? You guessed it, yours truly. Anyway, Elisabeth was pregnant too and she was really happy because she was "over the hill" and so was Zacharias. But when Mary walked in you should have seen what happened next. Elisabeths' tummy began to move in really funny directions because John was jumping up and down inside. John knew that his cousin was no ordinary baby. For he would someday get to baptize his cousin, the one and only Jesus. So all three of them got to rejoicing and celebrating the two new babies who would be born soon. Mary decided to stay about three months and catch up on all the news and gossip plus help out her cousin. Also Zacharias had lost his voice right before Elisabeth got pregnant. And it would probably be sometime (at least three months) before he got it back. (I bet Elisabeth was glad that she didn't have to listen to his nagging for a while.) So Mary returned to her hubby, Joseph, piggyback on me of course, and boy was he happy. I was too, for I got to rest a while again. It was a good thing too because little did I know that I would need all the strength I could get later on. 

Well, right before it was time for Mary to give birth this ruler Caesar Augustus decided he wanted to get a head count of everyone and that he wanted everyone to go back to their hometown to do it. The problem was that Joseph's hometown was 70 miles south of where we were at the time. So Joseph asked me if I would carry Mary for him (note: she sure was a lot heavier than before) since I had done such a good job earlier. I agreed as long as I didn't have to tote him too. He said don't worry; that he needed to walk since Mary's cooking had put a few pounds on him. So we take off from Nazareth and go to Bethlehem to be counted and pay our dues. Poor Joseph was having to put up with a pregnant woman and having to pay to have her along and they had as yet to enjoy any marital bliss because the Lord said NO until the baby was born. 

Well, we finally get to our destination but guess what? Someone forgot to call ahead to tell them we were coming. I mean the least they could've done was to call 1-800 -IMTIRED and book us a room (poolside of course). So here we are listening to the desk clerk tell us that the only place to rest was IN A BARN. I was hot and sweaty from all this and now not only do I have to carry them around, I have to share my bedroom too. Oh well it could be worse, I thought. (The barn could've been full, too). So we crashed out for a few days. But then one night I heard this awful crying and carrying on and when I looked up there was this bundled up body with two hands just a flailing and two eyes a crying and one gigantic mouth wide open emitting sounds like I never heard before. When I looked again it was Jesus wrapped in a blanket and laying in my plate, uh manger for you others that never have been in a barn. But he soon quieted down. 

And then it got really bright inside. At first I thought someone had turned the 3-way bulb up too high but then I realized it was this star in the East shining through the hole in the roof that someone had forgot to fix. No wonder it was so cold before that. I just thought someone had turned down the thermostat to 68 degrees to save energy. You know, I've never been in a hotel room that the air conditioner wasn't running wide open so that you became an ice cube when you walked through the door. 

Anyway, back to the story. My nose got to itching real bad and about that time this bunch of Shepherds showed up (they left their sheep outside, of course) and just as we got rid of them (I thought we never would get rid of them) these wise men showed up. They weren't so bad because they brought some stuff that we could use, like to go out and get baby bottles and stuff plus get us a hamburger or something like that to eat. 

But wait! This is the scary part. Those 3 wise men who showed up at our place had stopped at Herod's palace to get directions. (Makes sense, if you're hunting for the King of Kings, you would normally go to a royal palace to find him.) But the King got really mad when he heard who was born in his land, since he was a wimp who thought his title was on the line. He wanted the wise men to find the baby and come back and tell him, supposedly so he could see him too. But Herod was one bad dude and he actually wanted to kill him. So the angel of the Lord told the wise men to go another route and not to tell Herod nothing. They did as they were told (they were wise, not stupid-remember) and then the angel of the Lord showed up at our place and told us to skedaddle too. 

So Joseph put Mary and Jesus on my back and we took off again to another land to wait till Herod croaked. And so it was that I got to have my place in history along with a lot of other famous people, too. And thus was my contribution to the life of the one whom you all call: JESUS CHRIST