Approach with a positive attitude, from the front with a smile. Address them by name.
Breathe. Take a deep breath before the visit/encounter. They can read your essence and body language before they can comprehend what you are saying.
Cue them. Instead of “Do you want to put on your sweater?” Put yours on, and offer help with hers.
Dementia is the umbrella term. Alzheimer’s, Lewy Body, Vascular, & Frontotemporal are types of dementia. Alzheimer’s is the most common type, diagnosed 70% of the time.
Every day is a new day. A bad day yesterday does not mean a bad day today. Take it one day at a time.
Follow their lead. If they want to tell the same story or wash the same dish over and over again, let them.
Give them purpose. Ask their advice, give them a task. Even if they do it wrong, they’ll feel worthy because they accomplished something.
Honor who they are and who they were. They had a good, productive life even though they may not be able to feed or dress themselves anymore.
Investigate. If they are agitated, they may not be able to tell you why. Are they hungry or thirsty? Tired? Do they have to go to the bathroom?
Joy. Revel in the joyful moments with your person with dementia. Let those moments fill you up.
Keep eye contact. It establishes trust and helps you make a connection.
Love. Give a lot of love to your person. It makes them feel safe and cared for.
Mistakes. You will make them. You will say and do the wrong things. Forgive yourself. Caregiving is a very hard job.
Never argue with the person with dementia. It agitates them and you and makes everything harder.
Oxygen. Take your oxygen first. Like on an airplane. Care for yourself. If you are not a strong, healthy caregiver, you cannot be strong for your loved one.
Practice patience. It could take 20 seconds for someone with dementia to understand your question and come up with an answer.
Quiet. TV, radio, several conversations at once make it hard for the person to concentrate. Take them to a quiet place to visit or connect.
Redirect. If they are frustrated or upset, change the topic or environment, suggest an activity they like to do, or offer some tea or ice cream.
Simple. Keep sentences simple. Their brain processes differently and too many details will overwhelm them.
Talk about the old days, things from their past. As their short term memories go away, the long term memories remain.
Use fiblets. “I have to pick up my daughter from school!” says the 80 year old. “Your daughter called, she is staying late to play soccer. Let’s go in here and listen to some music…” Tell a little story and then redirect.
Validate their feelings and thoughts. “Yes, it is Tuesday (even if it’s Friday) but today we are going to do a Friday activity.” Goes along with *not* telling them they are wrong.
Walk in their shoes. Just as you do not want them to be sick, they don’t want this disease. Realize they are frustrated too, because they can’t do things or remember things like they used to be able to.
eXercise. Go for a walk with your person with dementia. Or do chair exercises. Getting the blood flowing is good for the heart and brain.
You are not alone. There are many resources out there. Support groups, caregiving courses. You just need to make the first move.
Zzzz’s. Let them rest. This disease is exhausting, for both of you. You rest, too.
Written by:
Kristen Cusato who is an Alzheimer’s advocate, educator and former caregiver for her mother.
Breathe. Take a deep breath before the visit/encounter. They can read your essence and body language before they can comprehend what you are saying.
Cue them. Instead of “Do you want to put on your sweater?” Put yours on, and offer help with hers.
Dementia is the umbrella term. Alzheimer’s, Lewy Body, Vascular, & Frontotemporal are types of dementia. Alzheimer’s is the most common type, diagnosed 70% of the time.
Every day is a new day. A bad day yesterday does not mean a bad day today. Take it one day at a time.
Follow their lead. If they want to tell the same story or wash the same dish over and over again, let them.
Give them purpose. Ask their advice, give them a task. Even if they do it wrong, they’ll feel worthy because they accomplished something.
Honor who they are and who they were. They had a good, productive life even though they may not be able to feed or dress themselves anymore.
Investigate. If they are agitated, they may not be able to tell you why. Are they hungry or thirsty? Tired? Do they have to go to the bathroom?
Joy. Revel in the joyful moments with your person with dementia. Let those moments fill you up.
Keep eye contact. It establishes trust and helps you make a connection.
Love. Give a lot of love to your person. It makes them feel safe and cared for.
Mistakes. You will make them. You will say and do the wrong things. Forgive yourself. Caregiving is a very hard job.
Never argue with the person with dementia. It agitates them and you and makes everything harder.
Oxygen. Take your oxygen first. Like on an airplane. Care for yourself. If you are not a strong, healthy caregiver, you cannot be strong for your loved one.
Practice patience. It could take 20 seconds for someone with dementia to understand your question and come up with an answer.
Quiet. TV, radio, several conversations at once make it hard for the person to concentrate. Take them to a quiet place to visit or connect.
Redirect. If they are frustrated or upset, change the topic or environment, suggest an activity they like to do, or offer some tea or ice cream.
Simple. Keep sentences simple. Their brain processes differently and too many details will overwhelm them.
Talk about the old days, things from their past. As their short term memories go away, the long term memories remain.
Use fiblets. “I have to pick up my daughter from school!” says the 80 year old. “Your daughter called, she is staying late to play soccer. Let’s go in here and listen to some music…” Tell a little story and then redirect.
Validate their feelings and thoughts. “Yes, it is Tuesday (even if it’s Friday) but today we are going to do a Friday activity.” Goes along with *not* telling them they are wrong.
Walk in their shoes. Just as you do not want them to be sick, they don’t want this disease. Realize they are frustrated too, because they can’t do things or remember things like they used to be able to.
eXercise. Go for a walk with your person with dementia. Or do chair exercises. Getting the blood flowing is good for the heart and brain.
You are not alone. There are many resources out there. Support groups, caregiving courses. You just need to make the first move.
Zzzz’s. Let them rest. This disease is exhausting, for both of you. You rest, too.
Written by:
Kristen Cusato who is an Alzheimer’s advocate, educator and former caregiver for her mother.
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